Friday, December 7, 2012

What were they thinking?

The other night I was out with hubby for our weekly date night.  We're kicked back enjoying a pitcher of cold beer poured into icy cold mugs and nibbling hot wings.

I happened to glance at one of the big screen TVs and a commercial for Miller Light caught my attention.  I'm not a fan of Miller beer . . . I'll drink crap beer but Miller is really crappy beer.

The commercial showed a series of people punching holes into the the top of the cans.  And I was like . . . what the f#*%??

I know why they were doing it . . . the intent was obviously to shotgun the beer.  They big question is why Miller would be promoting such activity.

For the uninformed, shotgunning is punching a hole in the top of a beer can to relieve a bottleneck of air in the can allowing it to enter through the puncture so the beer exits the mouth of the can faster . . .basically,  to allow the drinker to slam down a beer wicked fast.  The point is to get drunk as fast as possible   So, the question again . . . why is Miller promoting this?

The can features an "innovative" soft spot on the top of the can . . . much like you'd find on a rotten piece of fruit . . . to allow you to easily punch an auxillary orifice in the can . . . much like a worm tunneling  to get to the juicy innards.  

“Miller Lite is giving beer lovers an even more enjoyable drinking experience with the breakthrough Punch Top Can"

More enjoyable how?  So it goes down so fast they don't have to taste the wretched beer?  Maybe.

"On our testing, consumers told us they prefer the punch-top can 3-to-1 over the standard beer can because it's more like drinking from a pilsner glass." 

Okay, that's great.  The whole thing is gross on more than one level.  

First, in their commercial they are showing people punching through the soft spot with all manner of filthy,  germ-ridden objects . . . like there's no chance of cross-contamination.  They even encourage the particularly clever to try to use a dollar bill . . . how many nasty, sweaty, dirty hands that bill has passed through?  Just askin'.

Second, picture all of those cans stacked in a warehouse awaiting distribution . . . imagine a horde of rodents scampering around  defiling the tops of those cans . . .   envision putting that can to your lips.  Just sayin'.  

Skip the weird can with the creepy soft spot. If you want to chug a beer, pour into a cup and chug-a-lug.  

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